Drink and be merry were the main goals of the day! 

Laughter is the language used most by the Irish 

Stevo posing with the death rod that I got him for Christmas 

Gettin ready to put out the longline after the afternoon BBQ 

Jesus blessed us with phenomenal weather for his birthday celebration 

Astro the Christmas Penis! Easily the best gift I could ever get out of a secret santa. This wonderfully festive, phallic masterpeice generated countless laughs on Dec 25  

Longline:Successes and blunders

The enginuity of these kiwis is fantastic. So instead of your tradition fishing with a pole maybe off the side of a boat where you pull in one fish at a time we use the longline. Attach a line to the back of a kayak and paddle about a kilometer out to sea at which time you drop the weighted end of the line. In steady intervals along the line you have attached hooks with bait and you simply let the line sit out in the water for about 3 beers. Then pull the line back in and WALA, snapper for dinner! So we put one in the other night and were pulling the line back in as it was getting dark as that is the best time to pick up the best fishes. We get to the hooks and realize there is a beauty just munchin away on some squid bait. I get excited and start galloping towards the fish while I string the line along with me. Bad idea. About 10 yards away from dinner I catch a hook right in that meaty part of your hand inbetween the thumb and the index finger. The damn thing pulled me back resulting in some minor whiplash. After a few choice words I slowly pull the old metal hook out of my flesh. Surprizingly enough it didn't bleed it just swole up a bit and caused me some minor discomfort along with a weakening of my grip. So the question is, do I go get a tetness(is that how you spell that?) shot, or do the Andy thing and let it ride for a week to see what happens? Besides that little blunder it was a successful outing resulting in wonderful catches!

Vino and the Hair Clippers

Gathered around a delectable roast and numerous bottles of wine an unusual gathering of people tackle all the serious issues of the moment ranging from world politics to fruit flavored beer. That group consisted of 3 well to do kiwis, a short firey Scottish woman, her tall, slender, lesbian partner reigning from England and ofcourse your trusty narrator. Although my age probably made me stand out the most (everybody was around 45), we all meshed well together and had enjoyed countless laughs. Around glass 6 or 7, it becomes know that one of the kiwi women used to be a hair dresser. This reminds me that I am in the market for a hair cut and I let the group know this. Jo, the ex-hair stylist, refuses to butcher my lucious blonde locks but my land lady, Lynette, happily steps to the plate and proceeds to give me what all the young kiwis are sporting these days - the rebellious mohawk!

The rest of the dinner party 

Me and Lynette post hair cut 

Good times all around! 

The mullet took second place to the mohawk idea! 

Isn't it gorgeous! 

So here is your before shot where I am rocking my psuedo aviators. Not quite big enough to be considered proper aviators, but still demanding the same respect 

Vino versus the hair clippers

Gathered around a delectable roast and numerous bottles of wine an unusual gathering of people tackle all the serious issues of the moment ranging from world politics to fruit flavored beer. That group consisted of 3 well to do kiwis, a short firey Scottish woman, her tall, slender, lesbian partner reigning from England and ofcourse your trusty narrator. Although my age probably made me stand out the most (everybody was around 45), we all meshed well together and had enjoyed countless laughs. Around glass 6 or 7, it becomes know that one of the kiwi women used to be a hair dresser. This reminds me that I am in the market for a hair cut and I let the group know this. Jo, the ex-hair stylist, refuses to butcher my lucious blonde locks but my land lady, Lynette, happily steps to the plate and proceeds to give me what all the young kiwis are sporting these days - the rebellious mohawk!

Shout out

I am going to steal a blurb from my Japan loving cuz and give a birthday shout out to a little lady in Loganville. The world was recently blessed with another Chonko who made her grand entrance to the world on Sunday night! Congrats Nick and Emily, if she takes after her parents at all I am sure she is absolutely gorgeous. Wish I could be there to get a glimpse. I got some clippers so I will be copying her du soon!

Quote of the day: To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
Wilson Mizner (1876 - 1933)

New Du

The time has come for Andy to get a bit of a trim and I think I want to shave all of my beautiful blonde locks off. A nice Christmas cut for the summer. I am just having trouble getting the balls to go ahead and do it, so I thought I would look to my public for some moral support. Should I go for the shave, or just get a nice little trim? My hair is in its old college form as I haven't cut it since arriving in NZ so some kind of cut is necessary.

In response to Lee's question, I asked jolly ole St. Nick to drop his speedo and flash the crowd formed around him and he gladly did so. Not too much of a surprise as we were on the outskirts of the nude beach that is right next to my house. Don't get too excited, its mainly filled with dirty old men who enjoy walking around bottomless while they meticulously fondle their junk.

Peculiar Scene

I was taking a nice little jog down the beach a few days ago after a long night out on the piss when I witnessed something that I had never seen before. I wasn't paying attention to much as I had Jacko blairing on my ipod which keeps my pace at an all time high and keeps me in the zone, but it was a Saturday so there was a decent amount of people out and about. Kids frolocking in the water. Surfers trying to find their break. Sand castles getting destroyed by young scalliwags. All the normal stuff you would expect to see at the beach on a gorgeous Saturday in the summer. Thats about the time I look up near the dunes at an usually large gathering of people. Mostly families. I don't think too much of it until I realize that ole Saint Nick is the band leader and the jolly bastard has a kid sitting on his lap reciting a list christmas presents . Santa at the beach, red nose and all! Only it wasn't red from the cold, but from the sun burn. I knew it was going to be warm here, but it just never dawned on me that I would ever see Santa Claus at the beach. It completely blew my mind! Who would have thought...