Club MP

The ancient Inca city of Machu Picchu is surrounded by an ever changing blanket of mystery and intrigue. The construction, the purpose, the how, the why, the when, and the what for have all been the subjects speculation and suspense throughout the years. Some believe it was a fortress hosting the last stand of the Inca empire at the hands of the Spaniards, others are convinced it was the capital of the empire where all the Inca royalty resided, while still others have theorized it was a sanctuary for the Inca women. As I scaled Waynapicchu, overlooking the ancient ruins, a vision was bestowed upon me and I now know hold the truth behind all the hype. The nearly vertical staircase near the top of Waynapicchu is enough to put the fear of God into anyone on its own and it was at this spot when The Roots highly beat-tastic single, Seed 2.0, randomly came up on the shuffle mix I had playing on my ipod. A combination of the critically acclaimed tune, along with the fear of falling into oblivion to my left and the unique energy the ancient ruins radiate, I was granted a vision of the truth behind the mystery of Machu Picchu and I shall share that truth with the world...

Machu Picchu was an erotic resort for newly weds and those trying to mend the fabric of a broken relationship. A club med of sorts maybe referred to as Club Machu Picchu, or the Quechua equivalent back in the day. It makes so much sense when you put all the pieces together. First of all the Inca´s were a very sensual people, so shrine of this magnitude would not be unusual. Then there are all the different theme rooms: the puma room, the condor room, the snake room, there is even one whole section of the place in the shape of a sexy alligator. The llamas gallivanting around the place can absolutely, without a doubt feel the sexual energy flowing through the ancient stones. The llama foreplay ran rampid throughout the site, and we even got to witness a full-on llama lovin scene, which was of course rewarded with a standing ovation from the crowd of ruin dwellers. Inca women were also known to be rather large ladies, and we all know the female sex drive is directly related to her current measurements. As they say, the more cushion, the more the need and desire for constant coitus. Those Inca dudes had to build a sexual fantasy-land of monumental proportions to keep their women from going mad. So there it is, mystery solved, no need for further speculation or ridiculous theories.

The big peak is Waynapicchu, had to borrow this photo off the web as all my Machu Picchu pics got deleted at Lake Titicaca. Even the scandalous llama pics...very depressing I know.